poetry

Wearing my Crown... by Jessica Ballerstein

"Your crown has been bought and paid for. Put it on your head and wear it"
- Dr. Maya Angelou

As a lot of you may or may not know, about 2 years ago I started a blog. Being completely limpid, I came to realize I was doing it all wrong. At the time when I created the Blog I was riding what many people refer to as an emotional rollercoaster. Despite having a Blog [semi]full of positivity, and DIY, it was created when I was at my lowest. 

I was suffering, and still healing from a heartbreak. The only way it felt better at the time was putting on this front. A front the I was healed. My great idea was to show him and the world I was much happier that its over! So I did what I thought I needed to do, put up a front of how much happier I am without that person. It was like: "look at me XYZ, look how free and glee I am without us being like Jay & B!" "I'm so over you look at my blog thats all about how much I'm over you-- come on look!" [corny...I know]

Then it hit me! It was becoming less and less of a passion but more of an action. The act of trying to prove something. Thankfully, I was able to realize this and I took a step back from blogging and social media until I felt the time was right. 

The time was right about a year ago. The moment I freed myself from that cycle. The detrimental cycle of proving myself. Where blogging no longer felt right, but it was more like a centerpiece or a highlight to others. It became an obsession of "how people would perceived me". Not only was this destructive but it was also distractingMy blog became something more superficial than something of significance. A big, draining facade. 

"Self-care requires showing up and believing in your ability to be great for yourself, by yourself"

-Alex Elle

Now I'm doing things differently.

This blog is just as much for me as it will be for you. Most of all I look at it as my creative outletA way to get my thoughts, pictures, and stories out there without the unhealthy pressure of proving myself. Imma just be myself. Hope you stick around to take a glimpse on my passions, views, goal, and inspirations, so you too can pass along the good vibes. 

Love, Peace, and Coconut Oil ;)

-Jess