Hibernation for Meditation / by Jessica Ballerstein

It's been a while since I wrote my last blog post. My apologies for not forewarning the fact I typically go astray during the cold months. I hate yet love that I do but I NEED to. Being dormant allows me to do many fulfilling and soul quenching things for MYSELF & by MYSELF. During warmer months I'm always on the go, doing things for or with other people. Granted being the introvert that I am, I'm generally efficient with making time to recharge however most times I don't achieve 100%. There was always something going on in the background that would hinder my yearn for tranquility. 

Hibernating means a lot to me, to the point I actually look forward to those cold sometimes depressing months. It allows me to have an adequate amount of alone time so I can tap into my favorite activities such as drawing, writing, crocheting, and much more. Most importantly having these quiet months allows me to meditate and have an introspective outlook about myself. Discovering ways I can grow in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

Every year I create a list, not a list of resolutions but a list of goals. I like the idea of goals instead because that makes the idea more realistic and doable. When someone has a goal there are plans that tie in with the goal. When someone has a resolution it's equivalent to a wish. Anyone can make a wish, but to reach a goal you need to put in some kind of work. Of course, not all goals can be achieved in a year which is why baby steps must be taken to achieve the main goal. Even after the main goal is achieved there should be more goals. There should never be a cessation of improvement in any aspects of life. This year's goals have been less outward but more inward and would love to share a few of them. 


Stick to your word.

I have a nasty habit of lying. Lying by definition means a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceit. Where I differ from this statement is that I do it unintentionally. The idea of an unintentional lie is an oxymoron in itself, so, therefore, I will say I give empty statements. Before conclusions are jumped let me elaborate on what I'm trying to convey through examples. 

Scenario 1:

Person: Hey Jess will I see you at the event next weekend?

Me: Yeah for sure, I'll try to be there

Day of Event: Forgets event because deep down, I didn't care for it.



Scenario 2:

Person: (Tells me prayer request)

Me: Yeah no doubt, I'll pray for you! 

Me praying: ...


I'm a ridiculously forgetful person. At the time of my statement, I was all for it but then, I forgot. Importantly the reason I forgot was because I wasn't wholehearted in my statement. I said it cause it seemed like the right thing to say in that moment. My words have become empty. I want to be a person of substance, shouldn't that start with my statements? That's why my goal is to actually stick to what I say. That way it'll also push me, to be honest. When I person ask me about a party next time I'll think twice before I answer otherwise I'll be known as a flake and a liar. If someone asks me to pray for them I'll say "Yeah no doubt but let me put it in my planner". As a result, I'm honest with myself and the other person.

Document, Document, Document

This statement has been said by my boss so many times I've seriously adopted it in almost every aspect of my life. It's an eye opener how much writing things down can make you a better employee and person overall. Writing a short and long term list gives me an idea of what to prioritize. Having things visually in front of me keeps me organized on my day to day task, in addition, it reminds me of the task I need to complete. 


Having Healthy & Productive Conversation

This one is pretty self-explanatory. There have been many times I get sucked into or being honest the perpetrator of really unhealthy conversations. Conversations that aren't doing any good but harm mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I know this will sound cheesy but now I want to think "Would Jesus say that? 

Focus on your Journey

It's been easier to compare myself with other people nowadays due to constant posts, snaps, and shares. Comparisons don't achieve anything but envy, jealousy, and complete disarray. I believe 100% everyone's journey is unique. I shouldn't be peeking at someone else path, I need to remain focused, & trust the journey. I need to only worry about myself, my progress, my setbacks, and my achievements. 

Not taking things personally.

"Don’t take anything personally because by taking things personally you set yourself up to suffer for nothing"- Don Miguel Ruiz

This is one of my biggest downfalls. I'm a ridiculously sensitive person so I typically really let things affect me on an emotional level. I really need to learn not to take everything to heart especially things based on my interpretation. Although this is who I am I must strive for ways to maintain peace withing my mind body and spirit. This goal is a lot easier said than done but with drilling this quote into my head by Don Miguel Ruiz I'll get it in no time ;) 

“Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds…Taking things personally makes you easy prey for these predators, the black magicians. They can hook you easily with one little opinion and feed you whatever poison they want, and because you take it personally, you eat it up….”